WHY IS IT SO HARD?

 September 20, 2024

Matthew 18:21-22

 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 6:12

forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

"It was not until the second half of 20th century that Modern Psychology started paying attention to the value of forgiveness in interpersonal relationships." I got that quote from an article I was reading in prepartion for this weeks reflections. The author was praising the work of psychology in the area of the importance of "forgiveness" in our relationships. Frankly, I didn't disagree with the articles assertions. However, a smile came over my face, when I thought that our Bibles have addressed the need and value of "forgiveness" from cover to cover for centuries.

Both the Bible and Psychology have emphasized that forgiving a wrong, a hurt, a painful experience is good for us. We have said this week that when we allow unforgiveness to take root in our hearts and grow into a bitter product, we’ll never fully experience freedom in our hearts. In order to grow and mature in our faith, we need to extend forgiveness to others.

Now, I believe that!! I have experienced that. Even though there is a wonderful payoff for us personally and in all our relationships. Why is it so Hard? Do you ever ask that?

Forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven you. That sounds right to do. I believe we all agree with that, but, when those words are directed at us, and not someone else that is a different story.

Why is it so hard? I don't have the definitive answer for this. What might you answer? .....

I ask that taking into consideration everything we have looked at together this week. Those of us who are Jesus followers want to live by the guidance of the Bible, we want to do God's will, we want to walk in the footsteps of Jesus. In several ways we have said that being forgiving, sets us free from living a bitter life, that in this practice there is healing for us, and others.Studies have shown, that unforgiveness contributes to mental and physical health issues. Perpetually thinking of past hurt and pain increases the risk of anxiety and sleep troubles. Studies also show that an unwillingness to forgive contributes to high blood pressure, heart disease, and chronic stress.

Now those are very good reasons to forgive. It is good for your spiritual and physical health. Still, I ask Why is it so hard?

Well here goes some thoughts I have:

I believe we have this deep desire for Justice. I believe this is one of the "Communicable Attributes" God gives us. On it's positive side we cannot easily look away from injustice occurring around us. That has resulted in the amazing compassion we see in our neighborhoods and city. However, a desire for Justice at the personal level, in response to something done to us, we look for equality of hurt, payback. So, to forgive a wrong seems like letting someone off the hook, or the consequences of a wrong. It feels like a free pass.

As we looked at on Tuesdays devotion "forgiveness" is often misunderstood. Go back and scim the devotion. Forgiveness is not a free pass for the individual(s) who hurt us.

This one is from my own journey, the longer the time frame between an injustice or hurt done to us and forgiveness allows time for anger, bitterness and resentment to get deeply rooted. Makes it harder to let go off it.

Of course, I think most of us would say in other areas of life that just because its hard or difficult does not mean it isn't worthwhile. So, what is the answer for us.

1. Remember Forgiveness is a spiritual journey. We don't forgive a hurt in a snap.
2. Be mindful of what Forgiveness is not. It does call for Justice.
3. The reformer Martin Luther had a saying "the command of God is equal to a promise." Do you understand that? What God asks us to do (command) also means God is present in the process.
4. This week it has been driven home to me that forgiveness starts with God's grace to us in Jesus. I wonder if one of our passages Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you" might be put in a different order it might be helpful. Ephesians 4:32 “Just as God through Christ has forgiven you be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another." Thats where it begins with the experience of God's wonderful salvation and new life. From there comes the will, desire and spiritual power "to be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another."

We both forgive and seek justice, just as on the cross Jesus Christ both forgave and fulfilled justice.

LET US PRAY

Our Father in heaven,
    may your name be kept holy.
10 May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done on earth,
    as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today the food we need,
12 and forgive us our sins,
    as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
13 And don’t let us yield to temptation,
    but rescue us from the evil one.