TRUSTING A FRIEND'S HEART

 JULY 25, 2022

Proverbs 27:9

Perfume and incense
bring joy to the heart,
and the pleasantness of a friend
springs from their heartfelt advice.

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:6

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.

So far on the theme of Biblical Friendship Proverbs has taught us that Friends Change Us, so exercise care in who the people are that get close to us. Doesn’t mean shunning people, it just means that those who are influencing us, those inner circle friends, should be people who will help us grow and develop into women and men who live life “skillfully” and wisely. We also saw that these kind of influencers, are not just “good time” friends, but friends who stick with us through all seasons of life, no matter what. As Proverbs said it, this kind of pal who is a Friend who Cares.

Today we look at a third characteristic that Proverbs highlights it is that A Friend Counsels, Corrects, and Confronts.

You see a friend cares more than just having a good time with you. They genuinely care about you. One aspect of caring about someone is wanting them to be the best version of themselves, or more accurately, the fullest expression of whom God created them to be. If you have a friend(s) like that then you have likely experienced that that person is not shy about offering counsel, nor are they shy about confronting you with some correction. Now, saying that I acknowledge that such experiences can be painful. However, being a true friend means caring enough that one is willing to enter into uncomfortable conversations when it is necessary.

These are some proverbs that can help us do that.

Proverbs 27:9 says, "Perfume and incense

bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice." Life is confusing sometimes. Having people who can help you navigate the chaos is essential. God puts people in our lives to help us choose wisely in tough circumstances. Sometimes we want someone else to choose for us. Sometimes we want someone to confirm us in our choices. A friend’s counsel is neither of these things. Counsel is advice, guidance, and perspective. It is information to help you choose well. But the choice is still ours. Learning to listen to counsel then choose wisely is a key aspect of true friendship.

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron,

so one person sharpens another." This proverb explains not just THAT friendship transforms us, but HOW it does so. Iron sharpens iron by friction. When it happens, sometimes sparks fly. This shows us that friendship isn’t primarily for our comfort. It is for our blessing. We all have “rough edges” that need to be sanded down. God uses friends to do some of the sanding. Like the correction of a father, the correction of a friend is designed not to humiliate or condemn but to sharpen.

Proverbs 27:6 says, Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. ("but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”) Being confronted or experiencing conflict can be hard. No one likes being told hard truth. This proverb reminds us to trust a friend’s heart even when their words may not be what we want to hear. The wounds of a friend are like the cuts of a surgeon, done to heal not to harm.

If you have a friend like that, you are blessed and loved. Of course, the other side of this, is to ask ourselves are we that kind of friend? The kind that “sharpens” our friend(s) toward healing and skillfully living with wisdom.